The day I couldn't finish what I didn't start.

I was saying..
But nobody heard...
When it all began to...
Where did it go?
Calmness used to be natural to me.
Now evaporating through my grimace.
The slide has begun towards...
Undulating on rugged slopes covered in ice
Lacking...
Slick...
Pivoting out of control...
Divided...
The tip of the iceberg peeps through to my consciousness
A growl trips me up.
A shiver ran down my back a few hours ago
Its a full blown blizzard now.
Diversion is of the essence.
But as I said...
You don't mean...
But why would that change...
I'm now opaque with dissonance. 
--Shivangi Vyasulu.

Muffled mindgames.

The rain goes on.
Blurring the view
Blotting the sunshine
A sharp beam of light
as I scribble my name on a piece of paper
Riveted to the moment
Trying to save it for posterity.
The high had to be shattered.
The focus has shifted.
Time has no say in the matter.
A one track mind.
The sharp beam of light is now smudged
the nearby floor slippery
A slimy coat of rain water in a pool
Reflecting the murky skies
I blink once
I blink a few more times.
Its not my imagination
I cant open my eyes and look at it anymore.
A rippling effect of warped reality
stumped by the sudden clarity of it all.
My path diverges.
The diversion is welcome.

Disconnected plural

Once a plural memory
Now disconnected by fragments
Interrupted by daily life,
A sudden load of reality thrust upon me.
A revelation demands thrill
all I can muster is a half baked smile.
I know the consequences that loom ahead.
Fragmented past laid on shaky foundation.
Loneliness a factor deep down.
Its evident and was bound to happen.
Must be the center of attention.
My pain unfound.
hidden to accommodate the thrill I don't feel.
Its almost irrelevant now.
Vacuum building every new event.
I don't belong,
I don't want to adhere to those damn norms.
But I know the consequences.
I feel them now.
Its only going to get worse.
I've got a few months more to regain my perspective
Fight or flight not the only option. But that's what I'd choose from. 
landslide of thoughts pummel my brain.
The delicate shield of reality split right down the middle.
Time to give up the fight and just go with the flow.
Potential for loss high
no way to hedge the bet of impending doom.
I surrender, i subliminally resign.
I let life flow through my thoughts
Let it unfold the inevitable.
day by day
Until the end of the decade and the future I fear.
- Shivangi Vyasulu

Caf-feigning awake thoughts.

Swimming through murky waters,

Coming up for air and a better perspective.

Lack of sufficient resources

Liquid inspiration

I long for the moment

Hitting my brain and reverberating

Assailing my senses both olfactory and creative

I surface once more to find daylight

Diving into crystal waters suddenly

The coral so perfectly formed.

Waiting for the prescribed half hour to avoid cramps

Pondering my path of discovery

Revelation on the horizon.

Shimmering movement of thought

Plunging into the depths of young minds

The magnetic thrill of the new.

Alluring simplicity

Egged on by fantasy

Dissipated by logic

Choosing my words

Frail wings of learning

I surface with a smile

Coffee on my breath.  

--Shivangi Vyasulu